My Heart Palace

I was at the emergency station in a psychiatry. I got “Tavor”, which I can take in dangerous situations. For further meds (like antidepressiva) I need to see a therapist. Haven’t found one yet (whos availabe soon)

I’m trying my best. By writing and stuff. Thanks for your help. 

Anonymous said: What are you doing right now?

I am waiting for my appointments at the doctors’. While I wait I decided to continue writing my adult Midna/Zelda fanfiction. It really helps to distract, thinking about their love and the plot. Was the first thing I wrote completly for myself, based on my sexual preferences. It means much to me.

It’s german only right now, sadly, but if you’re German and are feeling up to it, you can try to translate it.

I am still alive.

Not quiet sure yet, but I start to think that it might get better. Thanks for all of your messages, especially the ones who tell me what I mean to them. 

I will take antidepressiva tomorrow and go to a threapist. Maybe things will change.

(Tobias H., I don’t have a mobile anymore. But you can maybe sent me your facebook?)

Anonymous said: Take deep breaths. This is just a panic attack. Sleep on it, you will see that things aren't that bad. Just talk to people, talk about your problems. So many people will listen to you. You are loved. Think about it. You're the light of people. You owe them to stay strong.

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Anonymous said: Draw some Nelles. Get closer to her, feel her. She's the one defending your wonderful heart and soul. Just concenctrate on her. You know you can trust her. She's your light.

That … that might help

ohgod, i dont want to go back to this terrible asylum, i’ll rather die

i am so afraid, so afraid

Private, very negative words.

Please don’t read this if you rely on my strengh, please don’t read this if you can’t handle to see me very, very down. Please don’t. I’m afraid it will bring you down, too.

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Anonymous said: You're stupidly beautiful, and I love you

That was aggressively nice. And kinda cute. Thank you, anon!


I am a woman. I am a practicing attorney. I am the only woman in my office over the age of 35 who doesn’t color her hair. I have some gray, but not a lot yet, and I never seriously considered coloring my hair until this job. I don’t want to: it’s expensive and a pain in the ass to keep up. About a year ago, I was in court, and a female attorney walked in with curly, bobbed, naturally gray hair, and her mere act of publicly displaying her natural hair color seemed not just unusual but defiant. Meanwhile many men in my office and in the courts have gray hair, and I doubt anyone thinks twice about it.

(Source: violenceandscience)

Via This is a title.


Imagine A World Where Being “Gay” The Norm & Being “Straight” Would Be T…

First of: WARNING. This is hard stuff.

I won’t lie. I was feeling like this my whole life. I do not consider myself a lesbian, but “hetero” felt so wrong to me, I often thought that I was born in the wrong world. It made so much more sense to me that men are with men and women with women, since they understand each other so much better than man and woman, and understanding & empathy was so important for me for love (and still is). When I was young, I saw men and women fight in ways two of the same gender wouldn’t fight … And I just didn’t understand. It really just felt wrong and somehow, when I grew older, even very dirty to me to mix genders. The sheer thought that man and woman could make babies by accident, not by love, made me go crazy and loose faith in those things which differ us humans from animals.
And when I finally understood that the world was seeing me as the wrong person, I often thought of scenarios like in this movie. Like… what if everyone was educated to be gay? I wondered countless times how many people actually would live in homosexual relationships whithout questioning it, and the question left me very afraid of the self-awareness of people…
Just in the last few years when I started to become aware and more open minded I learned to understand and accept heterosexual behaviour and stopped feeling dirty for the rare times I’d imagine sex with a man.

I know this sounds all crazy, and I am not proud to say all of this, but that’s how I have been and I feel like I shoul tell it.

(Pro tip for awareness: The scenario in the movie is very extreme. Thankfully it got better for homosexuals in the last years. However, imagine the girl being in love with her brother, even though the love is pure and non-sexual - she would be harassed to death, too, if people find out.)


Via This is a title.

Anonymous said: Glaasmoooond! You stupid, sexy, wonderfully gorgeous woman!!! I'm already finished with drawing something that's related to the sheer sexyness of you(currently working on something for Schpog and Cherry(god those two are soo cute!)) and now I wanna draw you dancing??!!! Seriously, this is too much on top of my homework and just- gah! That's it, I give up!!! *pouts*

!!!! I wanna see, I wanna see! <3

Anonymous said: why do you talk english so well? i thought you were german? :D

It is rumored that people can learn new languages, but this must be a legend.

(Source: pru-e)

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